A soundtrack for leaving Colorado

In a few days I’ll be traveling to Milwaukee to catch up with an old friend, and to have her show me around the neuropsychology department of this big-time med school, where she’s been on faculty for the last few years. She’s sent my CV around to her colleagues, and basically, I’m gunning for a straightforward psychometrician job (i.e., doing testing), with hopes of gaining some supervised assessment hours and getting involved in developing research projects. She says I’m overqualified, which I actually believe, but we agree that it would be the most efficient route for me to edge my way back into neuropsychology and the scene attached to it. That’s right, after seven years in the wilderness, with a few new tricks up his sleeve, the boy is coming home.

Ostensibly.

The position is far from guaranteed at this point, and I’m still searching for similar opportunities here in Denver. Thus, with the lease at Peachtree House ending this month, I’m lucky to be able to move into an empty room at Ellie’s place, with some great med student-types. It will be good to have the company of good people day-to-day. Solitude is important, but I’ve had way too much of it lately. It’s far too easy to view this shell of a home as a place to hibernate, and there’s no loving roommate to distract me from all of this useless pining I’m so goddamned good at.

I kind of hate the idea of leaving Colorado. There is certainly a life for me here, as well as an army of irreplaceable friends and innumerable fond memories. But I would by lying if I said I haven’t accumulated some very prominent not-so-fond memories as well. Indeed, there are things about this city that are haunted: a few too many places attached to this empty heartbroken feeling, a few too many faces that remind me of some failure or another. Still, those are rarely good reasons to skip town; it’s something else that has me eyeing storage spaces and moving vans: the idea that I’ve done what I needed to do here, and that my time in Denver simply needs to come to an end. And when it comes to this notion of dusting off an old dream, and of seeing once again a familiar vision of myself as a man, and of paying attention to some unfinished business – well, let me just say that I’ve never felt more right about anything in my entire life.

So, I’m starting to build a soundtrack for leaving Colorado, just in case.

[6]

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~ by TGV on June 5, 2008.

2 Responses to “A soundtrack for leaving Colorado”

  1. Dude,
    if you’re applying for jobs in wisconsin
    then you’re moving into the basement room. 🙂
    looking forward to having you around again.
    LE

  2. Actually, I think I’d much prefer to be underground in the coming summer months. Spoilt myself living in a basement bedroom for the last 4 years. Easy to forget how hot it is at ground level without AC. The summertime: bring it!

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